11/7/2018 at 10:13 AM

Some thoughts during the flight….

I am at a point in my life where I’ve given enough of myself. I am absolutely, flat out done and over it! I don’t have to prove myself to anyone or make them see who I am.

I am a God-fearing woman. I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a confident, loving, generous and compassionate human being. I am a funny, charming, stylish beautiful Queen. I am the best friend, daughter, cousin, and aunt you would ever want in your life. I am a businesswoman and entrepreneur and I got Godfidence!  If there is anyone in my life who cannot see all of this, that, then oh well! It is not my job or intention to expose myself to anyone or seek the approval of anyone, except God.

I am one of a kind. I am unique. I am God’s creation and treasure to be valued and loved.  I am God’s masterpiece and He created me in His image for purpose and business. I am about my Father’s business! Only God knows my heart and yours. Only God can reveal one’s intentions, motives, and purpose. I will stand with Him to the end because He is my faithful Father.

I sleep very well at night knowing my heart is 100 with God. I have no worries about my stance with Him because I keep it real with Him. We have a relationship.

I am excited about this chapter of my life! I feel so free to be me. I accept who I was, who I am and who God calling me to be! It feels good to really love and appreciate myself. I try to take steps every day to make life easier for myself. I often catch myself doing things and I ask myself, why I am doing it? I am in a great space mentally. Every day brings something new, and I expect something new!

On my road to recovery, it’s been an interesting 7 months. I have had some pretty awesome days and I have had some difficult days. I started this journey right before the eviction, back in May. When I didn’t have a car. When I was taking the train to see my mom to spend the day with her for her birthday. When I was still stuck in a bondage relationship. When I was having intense meetings with my supervisor. When I was in fear of losing my job. When I was living paycheck to paycheck. When I was stressing about my finances. When I looked like what I was going through. When I was sleeping on an air mattress that ended up deflating. When I only had a deflated mattress in my apartment. When I would barely talk to my mother and see my family. When I would feel so uncomfortable around people. When I felt ashamed of myself, and I contemplated ending my life. When I felt alone, and no one understood what I was going through.  When I wasn’t sure about tomorrow.

I was asked if I had any regrets? Every situation teaches a lesson. It’s up to me to learn from it. Life happens. We all make mistakes. How we get through it, makes a difference. There could always be a worser outcome than feeling disappointed that something did not work the way we wanted it to. If you still have breath in your body, you get a chance to make things right. If you have faith in your heart, you know something is better on the other side. it is not up to us to analyze it and try to make sense of it. Sometimes we have to move on without fully understanding. Thank God for peace. I am at peace with how the actions turned out and the outcome of my decisions. No such thing as regrets. Lesson learned. 

My heart may break but my Spirit is never broken. I never stopped believing and trusting God.  And now I am at a time in my life I must trust the vision He put into my heart. He has brought me a mighty long way for a reason, and I still have places to go. I don’t know how my business will succeed but I trust God and believe in God and His Word. And I know if I keep taking the right steps, everything will be okay.